First to Love
By Nicole Rose
A
disgruntled husband complained to his friend about his unhappy, uncompromising
wife. The husband, fed up, was considering divorce. His friend, however, didn’t support his idea
of divorce, and instead suggested that the husband “choose” to Love his
wife.
“Love her?”
replied the husband. “What on earth do you mean? We hardly speak…..”
“I mean Love Her.” countered his friend. “Really, really love her. Make her needs
more important than your own. What’s her favorite movie, favorite flower or
favorite food? Put a smile on her face! Try it and see what happens.”
The husband
did as his friend suggested, and to his delight, discovered over time, that he was married
to a very beautiful and caring woman.
Now, I
realize that not all unhappy relationships are resolved this easily, however,
in a society where so many marriages end in divorce and many relationships
barely “get past go” before they fall apart, this little fable yields a
powerful message regarding the deeper ways of love and relationship.
A Course in
Miracles states, “Only what you are not giving can be lacking from any given
situation.” The challenge is to bring to
the table of our relationships whatever it is we feel is missing. If we want less
conflict, then we must look inside ourselves to see, “Where am I conflicted?” If
we want peace, we must be the one who brings it.
All
encounters are opportunities to love and be loved—to recognize what is “real”
when things feel difficult or painful. Those are “golden” moments—chances to
forgive and thus transform and make holy what was once a grievance in the
heart. With every resolved grievance, the heart opens further and loves deeper,
and love, itself, is increased, amplified and glorified anew.
Published in Maui Vision Magazine, Feb/March, 2012
It is sooo true what you consider here. And I would even put something before that action of loving her, loving you, yourself. To know what you like and don't, to know what you need and don't; to know what you are longing for and giving you the permission to create that for you, before you even consider to love or divorce.
ReplyDeleteTo heal something in us, before pointing the finger to the other. To share our-self in naked truth to us and the other, brakes a habit we all are in, expecting and projecting. Closer to home, closer to our-self, mhhhh, wow, and this feels good! There is some energy in that. mhhhhhh, yes. This then can be shared and ...... celebrated, hahahahaha, (Thanks for your Post.)